MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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