Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
