I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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