My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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