and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
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