Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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