it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
