why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
