after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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