he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize