she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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