found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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