What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
