so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
