Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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