Define "chronic" masturbator.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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