living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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