Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
