We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
