O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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