And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
