So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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