STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
