he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
