I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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