Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need to calm my uterus...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
