Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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