it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
