Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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