thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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