too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
