she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
