Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there's paper in my vomit.
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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