You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
