apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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