y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's blow job season.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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