you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
