Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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