I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
