All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
