STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
