You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
