I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
