With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
