allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
not ubering you a puppy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
