Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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