So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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