You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
