Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
