I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
