I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
