WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it glows. i had to have it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
