yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
