I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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