If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
