There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
