the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
