dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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