my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize