Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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