would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
