Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
