My first STD was from a foam party
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
